The Queen, Duchess of Cambridge and HypnoBirthing

I’ve read recently that Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, is considering using HypnoBirthing™. I’m not sure whether this is true – these stories always come from ‘a source’ which seems to be code for ‘made up by the journalist’.

Anyway, I mention elsewhere on my site that HypnoBirthing™ was founded by Mickey Mongan who was herself inspired by ‘Childbirth without Fear’, written by Grantly Dick Read. A HypnoBirthing™ colleague has a 1954 of that very book and has written saying,

” On the paper bookcover, lower right, preserved by a plastic overcover, is a quote:
`Into a world where pain and fear are rampant – this book brings a message of hope.’

The Queen.”

So there you are: The Queen used the forerunner to HypnoBirthing™ to birth Prince Charles and The Princess Royal. If she hadn’t had a good birth she wouldn’t have authorised a quote to be attributed to her on the cover. Here’s hoping that Kate’s Grandmother-in-law is giving her some useful tips.

Happy New Year Baby!

Another year has passed and I have been reflecting on what 2012 has brought with it – it has been quite  a year both professionally and personally for me, with lots of people helping me along the way, usually without even realising that they are helping me. I have been blessed to encounter so many lovely people who I have enjoyed working and studying with.

In my HypnoBirthing™ I have worked with:

• couples who have had babies in the breech position and HypnoBirthing™ has helped the baby turn;
• cynical dads (you know who you are!) who have really embraced HypnoBirthing™, realising that it is actually based on common sense and I’m not the hippy that they feared;
• mums who thought an elective caesarean section might be the easier option only to end up looking forward to a natural birth after using HypnoBirthing™;
• couples who haven’t had ‘text-book births’ but who have raved about how great their experience was because HypnoBirthing™ helped them to ‘own’ the decision making process;
• mums who have been hospitalised during pregnancy so the HypnoBirthing™ sessions have taken place at hospital;
• a mum who birthed her baby on 10/11/12!
• lectured to student and registered midwives on how HypnoBirthing™ can facilitate a ‘normal birth’ and helped midwives to understand how they can best help HypnoBirthing parents.

In my BabyCalm™ work I have worked with:

• Expectant first time parents who were nervous about what on earth would happen when their baby was born who went on to have lovely early days with their newborn;
• New parents who thought that they were getting this parenting-lark wrong but actually when we talked about it in the Colic & Crying Workshop realised they were doing a great job;
• New first-time mums who made great new friends in the Mother & Baby classes;
• New second-time around mums who wanted to do things differently this time

Of course, bullet-pointing it like this doesn’t give scope to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed working with parents this year – with them typically arriving a little uncertain and leaving with raised self-confidence.

I’ve spent another year studying and attending some great events:

• At the Royal College of Medicine Hypnosis in Childbirth Seminar I heard how HypnoBirthing™ is being used in the NHS and about the research being conducted by Professor Soo Downe (watch this space!)
• At the BabyCalm Conference in London I met Michel Odent who spoke on the importance of Oxytocin in the post-natal bonding process, Naomi Stadlen who spoke on ‘What Mothers Do’ and Oliver James who spoke on ‘Love Bombing’. All very thought provoking.
• At the HypnoBirthing™ Institute Study Day in London I heard the founder of HypnoBirthing™, Mickey Mongan, speak about the improvements being made to the HypnoBirthing™ course.
• Exhibited at the NCT Baby Show at Trinity School, Croydon, meeting lots of expectant and new parents and meeting lots of other birth and baby professionals
• Exhibited at the Mothercare Baby & Me Event, again meeting a cross-section of expectant parents.

I was also awarded the Gold Seal by the HypnoBirthing Institute and the HypnoBirthing UK Advisory Board nominated me as the Regional Liaison for South London.

Phew! What a year! On top of all this, I took up running this time last year (not a New Year Resolution, just happened to find a fantastic pair of running shoes) and went from being able to run about 100m (I kid you not!) to running the Croydon 10K in October in 7 minutes less than I anticipated with the 2 best supporters in the world cheering me on!

I wonder how 2013 will top that!

HypnoBirthing and Sceptical Dads

More often than not, expectant dads come to HypnoBirthing™ suspicious, sceptical and cynical. However, they are there to support their partner and I appreciate the effort they put in to it. Over time, that scepticism falls away. Here is one such story:

Madeline and Nathan recently attended a group course and are awaiting the birth of their first child. I met them before they booked the course. Madeline was very positive about HypnoBirthing™ whilst Nathan literally stroked his chin, presumably suspicious of the efficacy of HypnoBirthing. When he finally spoke he said that he was willing to support Madeline in HypnoBirthing™ if it could help improve the birth by 1%.

The course is now finished and both Madeline and Nathan contributed really well to the class. Nathan seemed really positive although he reserved the right to retain some scepticism. However, he has forwarded the following thoughts on the course which I hope will help any other sceptical dads out there (who are forced to read this by their partners):

“The HypnoBirthing course took away the uncertainty of labour and pregnancy and has chilled out both my wife and me. I was quite a cynic to start with and thought it was interesting to challenge our perception of what labour is going to be like. This course made me realise that the experience of birth could actually be a pleasurable one and quite spiritual. Talking about it on the course took away the stress and worry about what might happen. 

It has worked as much for me as it has for my wife. It really connected us on a deeper level. The balance of practical and theory throughout the course really appealed to my man brain! The meditation and HypnoBirthing practices have been useful in everyday life to relax us as well as our practice for birthing. 

I really enjoyed the course and have already recommended it to other people. It’s definitely worth doing!”

I’m really looking forward to hearing their birth story in due course!

Another Lovely HypnoBirth

I received another lovely birth story last week. It’s a great story. Whilst the birth isn’t ‘text-book’ the techniques and confidence gained from HypnoBirthing allowed mum and dad to enjoy their amazing birth – which is what it’s all about!

So, let me introduce you to Francesca, Baydon and the delightful Frida:

“I went into at 3am on Sunday 25th and spent the day timing surges on my iPhone app but they were pretty irregular so I was mostly watching TV and sleeping. They started off about every 7-10 mins then started to speed up to about every 4-5 mins so we went in to Croydon University Hospital at about 10pm. I was cool as a cucumber at this point. The 1st hurdle was triage when they discovered I had a really high pulse rate which meant I wouldn’t be able to go to the Birth Centre. They suggested that I was dehydrated and they said if I could bring my pulse rate down through hydration I could be transferred to the birth centre.

The midwife we had that night and the one in the morning were both fantastic – particularly the one on the Monday who was there until the birth. On Sunday night I was still going strong with my breathing techniques and visualisation and Baydon was able to really keep me on track. It was actually amazing how any pain melts away when you relax into the surge. The Monday midwife was really familiar with HypnoBirthing and was totally respectful of all our birth preferences. She really acted as a first line of defence for us when the doctors started suggesting things.

On Monday they started talking about breaking my waters to -as you said- get things moving. The midwife gave us loads of time and options to consider. By 2.30pm we’d tried various things and I’d been going 36 hours so we decided to go for it. In hindsight I’m unsure whether this was the right decision but we know that ultimately it was our decision and no one talked us into it. My pulse rate was also still very high which was an important factor.

The surges picked up pace and intensity very quickly after that. Before we knew what was what they’d increased to the point where they were back to back which meant that I wasn’t getting the respite between surges to get my head together. Even 30 seconds would have been nice! I very quickly made the decision to have an epidural and once that was done I was absolutely elated. However, after the epidural, her heart rate dropped so they really wanted to just get her out. Our midwife was fantastic about explaining how this would affect our birth preferences and what the risks and options were. I had a ventouse delivery and ended up combining that with coughing to get her out as that was what worked! Frida had been fully engaged for 5 weeks so once they went in for her it didn’t take long at all. I did have an episiotomy although I asked not to so the obstetrician said he’d do his best. I ended up with just a small cut and a few stitches which he said would have been a lot more had I not been doing the perineal massage. They’ve completely healed now, less than 2 weeks later.

We had immediate skin to skin and as soon as the paediatrician was happy she was fine they all cleared out and left us alone in the room for a couple hours which was really lovely.

Ultimately labour was 40 hours and for 36 of those I was feeling great – I like to think HypnoBirthing on its own got me 90% of the way there! We also both felt 100% that decisions were our own and where they were dictated it was by circumstance rather than opinion. I came away feeling really quite positive about my birth.

So today she was officially registered. We’re getting out once a day and she’s gaining weight and we’re breast feeding like there’s no tomorrow! She’s an absolute treasure and doesn’t grumble too much and sleeps at night a reasonable amount. She’s totally enchanting and entertaining.

Thank you so much for all your guidance as it really helped us to have the most positive birth possible and obviously we’re totally made up with the outcome!”

Wow! What a great birth! For more testimonials, take look at this page.

Guest Blog – Who will be first?

I am hoping to welcome a series of Guest Blogs to my humble blog-site. I am looking for bloggers, parents, local therapists, and really anyone with an interest in pregnancy, birth and parenting to come and have their say here.

If you have anything you’d like to say, or you know someone else who might want to give some advice to expectant or new parents, please phone me on 020 8405 3499 or email me at helen_redfern@hotmail.com .

Later today, the first guest blogger will have their say – any guesses who it might be? Check back later to find out.

Be Prepared for the Christmas Rush

Are we in the middle of a Christmas Baby Boom?

Over the last month or so I have had a lot of enquiries for HypnoBirthing and BabyCalm courses, often from friends of mums and dads who have had calm births and now have calm babies, thanks to these courses. However, I can’t fit everyone in and it upsets me to have to turn down people who I know I could help to have easier births and a happier experience of early parenting. It hurts especially when I am unable to help people who have been referred to me by happy clients (who are like family).

So, I beseech you, do not be afraid to contact me earlier than you think is necessary. If you call me when you are 35 weeks pregnant, I may not be able to fit you into one of my classes, and if you contact me when your baby is 12 weeks old I may not be able to fit you into a BabyCalm Mother & Baby course.

Do feel free to contact me in your first or second trimester – if you’re the first to book a HypnoBirthing course of BabyCalm Antenatal Workshop I may even reschedule it to a day that suits you. By the same token, do feel free to book a BabyCalm post-natal course in the first few weeks of parenthood or even, as some do, before your baby is born. I keep my courses small so that you have chance to ask the questions you need answers to and so that you can get to know the other parents well, which has led to lots of groups of friends being made.

Alternatively, if you have a group of friends in a similar position as you i.e. pregnant or a new parent, I may be able to schedule a course for your group – you can but ask!

I hope this helps anyone considering booking a course. I am already taking bookings for 2013 courses so do contact me if you think you’d like to make a future booking.

BabyCalm Review

I am very lucky. I get to work with expectant and new parents at a really exciting time in their lives. Whether I am working with expectant parents teaching HypnoBirthing or with new mums running a BabyCalm parenting class, I first see people when they are a little nervous and unsure and then see their confidence grow. I see them learn to trust that their body can birth a baby, that they can help their partner give birth or that they are a great mum just the way they are.

Today I had some lovely feedback from a mum who has just completed  the 4 week BabyCalm Parenting Course:

Wendy, Baby Sophie and Big Brother Jamie’s story:

“Thank you for your time and the opportunity to learn so many useful techniques to help me bond with my daughter. The course was so much more than I expected and I would recommend it to others whether they have their first baby or second (or more). The small group, the amazing venue and your calm approach created an intimate atmosphere and allowed me to express my thoughts and feelings without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious.”

Aren’t I the lucky one working with such lovely people?

BabyCalm comes to Croydon

Good News! BabyCalm comes to Croydon!!

BabyCalm is a unique concept, presented through classes and literature, which aims to empower new parents to raise their baby with confidence. BabyCalm helps new parents understand how to calm their baby’s crying, avoid colic and aid restful sleep. Turning crying babies and stressed parents into calmer babies and happier parents.

There is a vast amount of pregnancy and birth support available in the UK, but a real lack of support available to new parents with very young babies.  Many new parents are left to muddle through the trickiest time in early parenthood alone -  the time when babies cry lots and sleep little, the time of colic and tears (and not just the baby’s!), the time when most new mums are frantically searching prescriptive books written by childless so called ‘experts’ for the answer to their tiring and distressing days and nights.

BabyCalm feels these books and parenting experts disempower new parents who feel they lack the natural empathy and understanding of the author, feeling the need to look to others to advise them on how to care for their own baby, when in fact our best experts are our own instincts! BabyCalm strives to help parents to not only calm and understand their babies, but to help them to trust their instincts and confidently make their own parenting decisions without relying on somebody else’s routines or manuals.

BabyCalm offers 3 different Course formats, all reasonably priced, starting from just £40 for a group workshop:

1)    The Colic and Crying Workshop – an emergency 3hr workshop that can be taken from birth to 12 weeks with the sole aim of helping parents to calm their baby. Offered on a private basis, in your own home.

2)    The Antenatal Workshop – a 3hr workshop, taken during pregnancy to prepare parents to be to welcome their baby in a calm and confident way. Offered on a private or group basis.

3)    The 4 weeks BabyCalm course – An 8hr course (4 x 2hr), just for mums and babies, designed to soothe babies and fill new mums with confidence. Offered on a group basis.

Here is what previous BabyCalm-ers have to say:

“Samuel and I have really enjoyed the BabyCalm classes over the last few weeks and I feel it has made a real difference to us both – we’re much more calm and happier and colic free - thank you!” – Kerry and baby Samuel (12 wks)

“”Thank you so much for your help yesterday, it was absolutely invaluable – I’m pleased to report she stayed calm all afternoon, no more colic! And we got 6 hours straight sleep for the first time ever, I couldn’t believe it!” -Becky and baby Jessica (4 wks

If you would like to know more about BabyCalm or would like to book a course do contact me via:

• helen_redfern@hotmail.com or
• 0208 405 3499

If you want to get your own group together, e.g. the parents you met through NCT or your NHS birth preparation classes, do get in touch. If you wish to host a course yourself, I offer a discounted rate for the host!

HypnoBirthing: If Carlsberg did labours…

Last week one of my HypnoBirthing couples had their first baby. The mum recovered so well that she emailed me less than 90 minutes after to tell me that the birth was,

‘less than 8 hours labour, no drugs, natural placenta delivery, and no stitches’.

That sounds pretty good doesn’t it? Today she sent me the full story:

Julia, Stuart and Baby Alexi’s birth story:

‘I decided to do HypnoBirthing after a recommendation from a friend who found it fantastic. Although I was a little sceptical and my husband was very sceptical I thought it would be worth giving anything a go for an easier labour.

Using HypnoBirthing I ended up having the dream labour. Contractions started at midnight. We arrived at hospital about 4 o’clock 5 cm dilated. I was in the birthing pool by 6 AM and to the surprise of my midwives gave birth at 7:23 AM with no drugs required not even gas and air. I would describe the pain as uncomfortable, but my birthing plan indicated that the midwives not offer me pain relief unless I asked, and the uncomfortable feeling was not significant enough for it to cross my mind to ask. Clearly HypnoBirthing had a big part to play in achieving this. Additionally I did not tear at all and have not been sore since. I put this down to the perineal massage suggested by HypnoBirthing.

Helen the Certified HypnoBirthing Practitioner I chose to have the lessons with was superb. She had a great calm but no messing manner and handled my highly sceptical husband well. I would thoroughly recommend her.

My husband is saying to his mates “If Carlsberg did labours ….”

If you are reading this wondering if it is worth the money, with no guarantee you will have a labour like mine, I would say if it gives you a chance you could have a birth like mine, then it is worth every penny.’

Julia hasn’t mentioned in her testimonial that Alexi was born ‘in the caul’ i.e. in the amniotic sac. This is considered to be very lucky. It is also a sign that Julia was very relaxed and that her midwife allowed the birth to play out naturally.

If you are pregnant and like the sound of a HypnoBirth, contact me on 0208 405 3499 or at helen_redfern@hotmail.com

When’s my baby due?

I’m sure that one of the first things that you did when you found out that you were pregnant is try to work out the estimated due date (“EDD”); it’s also probably the first question that people ask when you tell them that your pregnant.

So, how accurate is the EDD?

Well first off, remember that the EDD is just an estimate. Your midwife will ask you when your last period started, count back 3 months and add seven days. This calculation assumes that you happen to be someone who scrupulously notes down your period dates and who has a ‘normal’ 28 day cycle; most of the HypnoBirthing mums I work with don’t match that description. It’s easy to see how using such a starting point and adding about 282 days to it may not give an accurate EDD.

Where does 282 days come from?

The gestation period for 95% of the population falls between 265 to 300 days. 282 days is simply the average of these 2 figures. You’ll probably find that your hospital will amend your EDD at least once during your pregnancy as the size of your baby is compared to the average foetal size. Most mums I work with consider that the EDD gets closer to the date that they intuitively feel is the right date. However, I don’t think any of my HypnoBirthing mums have birthed their baby on their EDD.

So, how many babies do arrive on their due date?

Only 5% of babies are actually born on their due date. How crazy is that? So it’s really not a good use of anyone’s nervous energy to focus on the due date that you’ve been given. Research shows that the average first baby is born at 41 weeks and 3 days, i.e. 10 days after their due date. Can you imagine how annoying, and pressurising it would be to have friends an dfamily calling and texting to know if you’ve had the baby yet as soon as the magical EDD arrives? Therefore, it’s more important to focus on that range of 265 days to 300 days. So, if you were due on December 15^th, it would be fair to assume that the baby would be due sometime in December. My first baby was due on the 13^th. Being keen to manage everyone else’s expectations and avoid any pressure, I told friends and family that the EDD was  towards the end of the month.

Is the EDD that important?

The importance of not focussing too much on the EDD is not just about avoiding other people’s expectations but allowing yourself not to worry about when the baby is born. As long as you and your baby are both in good health and there are no complications, you should enjoy these last few days of pregnancy rather than feel pressured to consider being induced. You and your baby know when it’s time to get things started. Once artificial intervention is introduced you’re moving away from what your body and baby know what to do.

In my next post I’ll be talking about how you can help things along naturally if your do go past 42 weeks.